the arm beneath your head
by earlyable
Summary: "River pulled the dress out of her abnormally large closet and turned around to stare pointedly at the guard who had the shift tonight. He blushed and turned around quickly, trying to be as cooperative as possible having heard the stories about Cell 426."


**A/N: Okay, this is the second last fic in the series; I'll kind of leave the end of the next one hanging so if I want to come back I can, because to be perfectly honest, I'm really enjoying writing this. So much so, that it stopped being a linkage fic, became a linkage series and then decided to become an emancipated ficlette. If that makes any sense, check yourself into a mental asylum. Here is the wonderful story that I have dedicated my life to. *sniffs and points*BTW, just a shout out to JenniferJF's story Night Shift, if anyone's interested in reading it, it's truly a work of art.**

River pulled the dress out of her abnormally large closet and turned around to stare pointedly at the guard who had the shift tonight. He blushed and turned around quickly, trying to be as cooperative as possible having heard the stories to come from Cell 426. The scarf, the stone angel... many different examples whirled around his head.

"Sweetie, terribly sorry to bother you, but if you wouldn't mind..." He turned around to see the prisoner leaning out of her cell the try and grab one of her high heels that she had obviously dropped and laid just out of arms reach. "Oh, of course!" The guard said rushing forwards to be of use immediately. As he knelt to pick up the she grabbed his arm, causing him to over balance. He saw it coming but was powerless to stop it as she kissed him gently. "There we go. Just sleep... it'll all go away in the morning." He heard another voice enter the conversation before he dropped off to sleep. _They sound a bit upset_, he thought vaguely before hitting the floor, hard.

"River," The Doctor said reproachfully, walking towards her with his sonic screwdriver raised. The peculiar buzzing noise commenced and River heard the lock click and the door swing open. "You didn't have to knock the poor man out. He was just trying to help."

River bent down, "I haven't done anything wrong." She turned and smiled at him, "You, on the other hand, have plenty to answer for."

"But River, I-" The Doctor whined before he was cut off by her glare. _If he dares say that he hasn't done anything wrong, I'll strangle him! He left after feeling jealous about himself, I might add, made me cry and then left in the morning before I even woke up! Not done anything wrong my foot!_

"You left before I even woke up." River said, glaring at him in a particularly venomous way. "You didn't even wait to say goodbye." She was waiting patiently for his explanation, but none was forthcoming any time soon. She kept waiting until he cracked.

"I, uh, I- I didn't want to stay because of, well…" He trailed off gesturing vaguely to his crotch area. River nodded in realisation.

"Sweetie, this isn't the first time that we've-" Understanding dawned over her face and the Doctor looked at her curiously.

"Isn't the first time we've what? I've never woken up with you before River, we haven't even… you know…" River didn't need the accompanying motion to realize what he meant.

"Oh, and that explains that one; but what about last time?" River looked dangerously close to shooting him so the Doctor quietly moved away slightly.

"What last time?" He said nervously, pulling at his bowtie.

"That explains you leaving before I woke up, but it doesn't explain you taking me to the _slums _of the _universe_!" She shouted at him, advancing towards him, having opened the door to her cell while he was more preoccupied with the gun at her hip. He backed away further as she advanced on him slowly.

"It was an accident; but it was fun!" He protested, mightily unwisely as she unbuttoned her holster. He took a couple more steps away from her and bumped into the wall, she smiled at him.

"Fun! You call that _fun_!" She whispered at him, almost hissing the words at him she was so angry.

"Well, I had fun. Didn't you have fun? There was running and shooting and you got to crawl up me. Not quite as good as our first date, but almost there. I mean…" He stopped his babbling when her hand landed on her gun and pulled it out ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry and I'll never do it again." River relaxed slightly and her hand let go of the gun, but it was still resting too close to the handle for the Doctor's liking. He struggled to find words that would appease her.

"And next time we go out, you can drive." He tacked on hurriedly. River nodded in satisfaction, buttoned up her gun holster and nodded.

"Okay, I forgive you, but you'll have to take me out tomorrow night, and it _better_ be tomorrow night, because I have to do something else tonight." River turned away and picked up the shoe that she had dropped whilst preparing to actually kill the Doctor this time.

"What is it this time?" The Doctor said still eyeing her gun off nervously.

"You messaged me, something about a Jim the Fish?" River looked nonplussed at the name.

"Oh, that's a favourite one of mine." River looked at him sharply and he shrugged.

"Spoilers," He called out behind him as he walked to the TARDIS. "And I'll see you tomorrow night."

River shook her head at his smugness and walked away to her meeting with another husband from a different time. "Spoilers, indeed." She murmured.

**A/N: Okay, I know it's taken awhile, get over it. Jokes… but seriously *meaningful look* The next one will be up soon, sorry it took so long. I hit writer's block and then essentially deleted half of it and started on a different tack and voila, this is what came of it. Slightly shorter one that usual, but fun to write (and hopefully read) nonetheless. Now, I'm still waiting for a copy of this back from my beta, so it'll be reposted once I get it back. Ciao **


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